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Apology to EA


“If I can repay thee by taking vengeance upon some arrogant villain who may have offended thee, know that my profession is none other than to defend those who are defenseless, and to avenge those who are wronged, and to punish malfeasance.”
Don Quixote, Miguel De Cervantes

Dearest Electronic Arts,

First of all, I’d like to wish you a Happy New Years.  I know you’ve been distant for a while now and I think I know why.  A few weeks ago I foolishly released an ill-advised rant against Medal of Honor.  When we pass by I feel your cold shoulder as your avoidance is like icicles falling on my head penetrating my heart.  This silence treatment is warranted as I was foolish in pin-pointing your hard work as something that was “rushed” and “a grenade of a game.”

That can not be furthest from the truth.  All games in fact are lovely pieces of art that do not gather dust because they are in the CD cases you sell them in.  While some may see the ugly in a picture of beauty, others can see the essence of the artwork and appreciate it.  It is rare that art is ugly.  Also know that when you love someone very much you are not afraid to show your ugly side.  In fact, you are more apt to showing your ugly side to those you love.  I think it’s because subconsciously we know that our loved ones will forgive us.

Years ago I purchased EA games at the drop of the hat, regardless of reviews.  Now the market is so inundated with games that reviews are more likely to persuade a buying decision; Even reckless blogs who have no reason to knock someone down.  I would walk by you in the isle of Toys’R Us and you’d say, “pick up this paper tag of Mutant League Football and take it the cashiers, she will ring you up and you can pick me up behind the glass encasing.  You see, I am so valuable that kids and even immature adults will try to steal me.”  And I listened and I enjoyed all your games with no remorse. I still recall one of the great lines from the opposing team’s coach. “His momma called him Sonny-boy, but now they call him Smudge!”, he heckled after one of his mutant players pulverized my player with a brutal tackle.

Mutant League Football

Sega Genesis owners enjoyed a mutant variation of Madden Football

Video games are like movies or any other work of art.  This was not the public’s perception before, but now I think the shift in thinking is that the games are far more advanced and immersive as far as their story telling capabilities.  If one thinks a game is not to their liking, there is probably a million others who feel differently.  So when one lets out a public rant about how awful a game is, it only looks bad on the author.

Leave the business of bashing a game to the professionals, that is what I learned.  It’s a new year and I wanted to clean this issue between us.  I heard a lot of good things about Mass Effect 2.  I promise to spend as much time with you as we did before.  Please don’t revoke my Madden account.

Life is about learning from your mistakes and forgiving those you love for making mistakes.  Last I checked you had a market value of over 5 billion, but I know your heart is even larger.  I hope you read this letter and agree, but if not, I wrote a poem to convince you.

Love,

DrGonzo619

 

 

Sonnet to Electronic Arts (In key of E)

 

From the time of adolescent gaming,

I’ve been a fan collecting every game,

could not clear Road Rash, I was complaining,

my savvy play in Madden brought me fame.

 

Admiration for the graphics adorn,

mind is ravishing with puzzles produced,

Quake hits our Sim City and we’re forlorn

Play madden, read defense, “blitz” they deduce,

 

You care about us even though we rant,

plan my life and juggle time like a Sim,

online game and conquer from the distant.

no regret if I buy game on a whim.

 

You are great despite what others retort,

You are far more than simply EA Sports.

 

Unfinisable game award goes to... Road Rash

A game I never finished but spent many hours trying. It caused me much grief; EA's Road Rash on the Sega Genesis

 

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